As for 2018, I’ll definitely be fully healthy without any stomach pain. I will have sufficient sleep and energy. I’ll be healed, kind of reborn. That’s my first and most important goal.
I will be able to pursue my passions, for now I’m seeing myself photographing and connecting with likeminded people.
I will visit my friends all around the world.
I will confront my fears.
I will do unexpected things.
I will spread love like it’s glitter.
I will follow my heart.
I will be me.

And you will be whatever you want to be.

These are the exact words I’ve written last year.

I’ll be honest. I already checked if I had reached my goals early in December and had a moment full of tears and thankfulness, because not only did I manage to fulfill these goals.

I SMASHED them!

Ok, maybe except the fully healthy part, but the year isn’t done yet and every day can make a difference!

But for everything else, I did it. I did more than that and I’m happy to see and feel, mindset is EVERYTHING.
I can’t wait for 2019. I can’t wait to become the person I’m already shaped throughout time in this universe, because time is just a construct.
Everything we will be, we already are. Our past is our present once we give thoughts to it.
Everything flows, everything happens simultaneously.

And if I know something. The concepts ‘law of attraction’ and ‘everything happens for a reason’ work. They work together seamlessly.

I don’t want to talk around the topics too much. But this was my intro. Let’s take a look at the different categories, so you understand what I’m writing about.

PASSIONS

Photography

As you know, I am on the verge of becoming a professional photographer. I spent the first months of 2018 really feeling into this idea, feeling if it’s the right direction. And for now, I can still see this idea happening.

I had my portfolio shoots in March, April, May, July, August and December. Some pictures I managed to take without having officially set my mind to do them. That’s what I mean by building my portfolio.

But the skill of photography was still one I wanted to grow. So, besides just shooting, I read a shitload of books, watched numerous ‘follow me on my shoots’, attending photo events and of course shooting myself. Also, I have been saying I wanted to learn photoshop, so yes, I did this in December and now can proudly say, I understand it, I can use it (not seamlessly). But still, I learned to retouch and that was my main agenda.

I currently still need to edit 6 pictures until Saturday, then I’m done with this year’s content.

Music

Ah, yes. By now you should be aware of the fact that I play the guitar and sing. So this was also something I kept in doing in fairly regular phases, sometimes more and sometimes less.

I also spent time finding new artists to fall in love with. Current favs include SG Lewis, RÜFÜS DU SOL & Shoffy. Just check them out.

FRIENDS

I can only pinch myself when I think about the awesomeness of my friends.
Besides the multiple hour phone calls with Mili, I’m still more the kind of person that just makes time to see her friends in person.

So, a few highlights which I appreciate so much and have almost forgot have occurred this year:

1. Going to a Lana del Rey concert in Antwerp with my bestie and her friend totally spontaneously.
2. Going to London to visit Caro and see Vance Joy.
3. Playing the guitar and singing at the Rhine with a guitar I stole (well, he actually gave it to me :D) from a musician as per request by my bestie.
4. Meeting Nika through IG, thinking friendships can start online.
5. Having an unplanned, out of the blue reunion of my college gang in a) Berlin with Mili, Helmi, Feza, her colleagues and I 😀 and a planned one b) for Karina’s birthday with Hatze, Cori, Lulu, Helmi, Daniel and Mili.
6. All the travels to/with my friends (more later).

What can I say?
Even though we don’t need to stay in contact all the time, it’s like we have never been apart.
The relationships I have with my friends are build on trust, reliability, fun, adventure and communication (in person :D).

I’m proud to say we can count on having an open ear to listen to each other’s greatest successes, biggest fears or most depressing worries.
We’re each others biggest cheerleaders. Non-judgmental, but still honest.

In a lot of ways I feel my friends are more like family. Yes, choose your friends wisely and treat them well.

CONFRONT FEARS AND DO UNEXPECTED THINGS

Hahaha, that’s a good one. If there’s one new year’s resolution you should definitely put on your list it is this one!

On the top of my head, I have confronted the following fears and gone totally outside my comfort zone:

• meeting strangers from IG and FB in real life for dinner, just to chill or for shootings (and it worked out so well that I can count some as friends now)
• singing and playing guitar at the Rhine
• shooting a video for the ‘Best Job Ever’ campaign for About You
• doing Couchsurfing for the first time
• shooting my first wedding
• doing the Ayahuasca retreat
• traveling while still being sick
• drinking alcohol (just once) while still being sick
• eating fear foods while still being sick
• letting my guard down a bit when it comes to love or well letting people really in
• not listening to the doctor’s advices, but to my gut

There are a lot of other worries I have overcome, I’m not immune to fear. I just choose to still leap into it and try to find comfort in the uncomfortable.

I swear you’ll be rewarded with new experiences and pride or well, a lesson on what isn’t working out for you.
And that is definitely better than any ‘What if?’.

See these opportunities as challenges rather the problems. Nothing ever really is a problem, but an opportunity to grow into a better self.

HEALTH

I took out several months in between throughout the year solely concentrated on my health, whether it was recovering from stressful travels, stomach pain attacks or new insights.

I still haven’t published my post about the procedure, probably 80-90% of health issues could benefit from, but it’s on my high priority list for 2019.

As for me, Ayahuasca  has helped me find my root cause and we’re working on it I promise!

From taking hormones to going off hormones, trying traditional Chinese medicine, regular infusions and physiotherapy, I did it all. As well as going through a lot more dentists and cmd experts.

Still funny to me that the things that really help me are natural and holistic procedures rather than conventional medicine.

FOLLOWING THE HEART

I will summarize spreading love like it’s glitter, being me and following my heart in this paragraph, because these topics are highly interconnected.

You know, once you find what you are passionate about which in my case is not only photography and music, but also helping people figure out what they want to do in life, to help them grow and reach their goals through supporting their ideas and giving them motivation and inspiration.

And this is also only one of my goals for the future.

This year I have made time to listen to the life stories of strangers, given smiles to people who seemed to have needed it, talked through multiple scenarios with clients and friends and helped them problem solving.

I supported causes from signing petitions, to giving away clothes to saying kind words throughout the year.

I have opened myself up to love and everything I gave came back to me multiplied.

I believed in my goals and dreams, I asked for them, did my part, was observant for any opportunity that would have brought me closer to them. Sometimes I waited, but never for too long to pursue an opportunity.

I had a lot of firsts.

My list was very shallow and open to interpretation, but got detailed while I was living each day on its own.

Overall I have made some conclusions:

1. Morning routines are awesome and I really need to work on a regular one asap.
2. Yoga is salvation and stretching everyday love towards our bodies.
3. Sustainability is a topic I should really read more about and try to become better at.
4. Traveling is a privilege, and even though the environmental footprint isn’t always the best I wouldn’t pass on it.
5. I’m shit at productivity. I have my big phases where I don’t sleep, because I’m super committed and ambitious, but I need to learn to work timelines, for he sake of all the things I’m having planned fo the future. I don’t want to be fluke on myself.
6. Psychedelics are tools to the higher self, to collective consciousness and I don’t care what others might think about them, but I root for natural plants to expand our minds.
7. I gotta maintain those awesome friends.
8. My aspirations for next year will be so much more clearer and also very much bigger and kind of ridiculously chaotic 😀

Guys, just be yourselves, love yourselves, believe in yourselves and surround yourselves with people who are good for you!

Eat good food, primarily healthy, unprocessed, real food. But don’t forget to indulge from time to time.

Move. Because exercise keeps your body healthy.

And kiss those toxic thoughts goodbye.

2019 Aspirations

Honestly, I have made a handwritten list and written down all the goals and dreams I have.
I also have a digitalised version on Trello for on the go.
These boards aren’t only about 2019, but far into the future which made me think: VISION BOARD!

I am currently planning out my vision board. I sorted through the ideas, and will do one in the next few days.
You can see, the last days of 2018 are spent on reflecting and planning 2019, to start with…

Yes, right, FOCUS!

So, I don’t want to disappoint you, but since my goals are super crazy and totally all over the place, I decide to not share them, but I will at the end of 2019.

Still, a few goals I can blab on:

I told you, 2018 was for healing and getting strength back.
2019 is for business and leisure.

I was so afraid not to be healthy enough, now I know I’m capable of so much more.
Sometime the coming year I will launch at least two businesses.
Yes, you read that correctly. Not one, not two, but at least two (probably two, but still dream bigger than what you think you can achieve!).

There’s a friend I was supposed to meet in 2018 which didn’t happen. And seeing her is a number one priority in 2019.

As I write the following words, nothing but joy overflows me, because this second I already know I will be traveling to numerous places.
And my little hint is: my life dream is coming true!

I might plan on changing my ways in social media a lot, but this is something I keep my mind open about.
Be sure though, to see different sides of me, because I am changing constantly.
I’m just an outline of who I used to be.

Oh and besides becoming a more productive, more mindful person. I will finally win the battle against toxic eating behaviour. This one is hitting home.

So, these goals are a bit clearer than last years. Some have stayed pretty similar, some have changed. It’s interesting to see how priorities shift, right?

One thing I know though, once I got into personal development, spirituality and productivity, I couldn’t go back. So, my last goal I share is to read a shitload of books.
And I’m always looking for recommendations!

If you have read until here, thanks for reflecting with me and I hope you could take some inspiration with you!

Enjoy the last few days of 2018. Get ready for great things to happen.

Love,